The Calm Before the Tempest

So, I recently got back from a short, but needed and well-deserved vacation in Atlantic City.  My beau and I needed to get away from all of the craziness and just take some time to reconnect with each other.  All in all, it was a great time filled with losing money, eating AMAZING (did I say amazing) pizza, relaxing by the pool, and some pleasant shopping.

So now I'm waiting...waiting...waiting for school to start.  Waiting for my new job to start.  Waiting for my teacher training to begin.  This seems to be the time of the year when I feel most anxious, but something is different about this year than previous years.  I am much calmer; not really nervous about what is ahead.  Maybe that is because I have been practicing yoga more than I ever have in the past.  And I'm at a point where I am really trying to just take one day at a time and I will cross bridges when I get to them. 

Something I would like to address.....

Expectations.

I am really learning how to not expect anymore.  I would be lying to say that I never expect a thing, but I am really getting better at it.  Expectations lead us down the wrong path.  When I expect my beau to act a certain way, or I expect someone to smile back at me, or I expect my students to love my lessons, I am really just trying to control everything.  And what happens when our expectations aren't met?  I know that I let it ruin my attitude and then I let it influence the rest of the day.  So instead of expecting something and getting angry, try to keep an open mind.  Try to understand that you are leaving an opportunity for something amazing to happen to you.  By allowing the unexpected we are also teaching our hearts to experience things right as they happen in that very moment...which is why I love the Method, but that's another story.

Don't expect, just live and enjoy.

Thoughts are flowing....

So the show is over and I feel like I have my life back. The show was a great experience filled with MANY lessons. I always like to use every situation (good or bad) as a learning experience for the professional and person I want to be. Needless to say, I think I have proved again that I am a person of integrity and peace. MOVING ON.............

Since I have my life back, I've been able to spend time with the man that is the love of my life. Really? Could this be? I'm getting to go out to dinner with my boyfriend and sit on the couch and watch useless tv together (which he hates, but knows that it is my guilty pleasure, so he just smiles and joins along).

So along this new way of living, I was hanging out with him last night. And because of my obsessive compulsive problems with cleaning I just couldn't help but help him clean his room. Really I don't mind doing it and he in no way forces me to clean up after him. It's just something I like doing. Organizing other people's stuff and helping them feel more at peace is something that I really love doing. So once we were done and had moved furniture around, I realized something. I am good at this. Seriously, I am really good at organizing people's things; helping them to figure out what they should keep and what they need to get rid of. I'm good at uncluttering their physical surroundings, which in turn will help to unclutter their mind. A clear mind improves a lot of things.

So instead of a Doggy Daycare, which I have no clue how to run, I'm thinking that I need to do something with this gift I have been given. I'm going to be going on a Dharma Discovery in November, and I think this will be my main focus of that retreat. I'm thinking of running a business out of my house to help organize people. It is something that people always need help with and I am good at it.

So here are some ideas (with some help from one of my own gurus) for what I will call myself:
Organizational Guru
Organizational Consultant
Unify Your Universe

Let me know what you think of this idea. I'm really excited and am seriously considering this opportunity that the universe just gave me.

Jai Guru Deva!

My Great Ideas

Life has been interesting lately. Jesus Christ Superstar is opening on Friday. Rehearsals are going well and I can't wait for everyone to see it.

I find that the closer I get to a peacefully place, the more my anxiety problems try to take over. It will be an ongoing dance for the rest of my life. I can't even say that I wish for anxiety to go away totally because I wouldn't be human, but it would be nice.

Today as I wast telling my longtime friend Tom about my newest idea...something dawned on me. Well, the idea is to open a Doggy Daycare in Hoboken, NJ because EVERYONE has a dog in Hoboken, but there really aren't any places to leave them. Tom immediately said "But, you have never owned a dog!" As we laughed I came up with the idea that I would handle the business end of everything and then he reminded me "But, you don't know anything about running a business." And as we laughed harder, I realized that I have SO many ideas and SO many plans for the future, but I really need to set some goals and make plans for fulfilling them. Of course, we don't know anything about the future since we are only promised this present moment, but setting some sort of general direction and route are the things I like to do.

It is amazing to look back at life and realize that every single thing we have done has led up to this very moment. Even all of those awful things we have had to go through. Just this past month a whole new world of yoga was opened up to me and I thought "Wow, two years ago I never would have imagined that I would be entering a yoga teacher certification." How did I get here? I joined the program because I loved the Immersion. I joined the immersion because I just love the community of Devotion Yoga. I joined Devotion because I was looking for a new studio. Looking for a new studio because of new things I was learning at school. Etc.....

So....some ideas I have for the upcoming year:
Start and finish my 200 hr. YA certification at Devotion Yoga
Graduate from The Actors Studio Drama School with an MFA
Find a way to sell my art
Find a job that I can make my own schedule and have health insurance.
Find a place to live
Get an agent

So there it is universe. The realistic things I plan to work on. No dogs involved (although I do want to own one eventually). If any of you feel like sending some information my way that might help me out with these tasks, please feel free to contact me.

Namaste.

Hello

I have never blogged before, so I want to see what this is all about. My purpose of this blog is to record certain things that go on in my life as I enter my last year of study at The Actor's Studio Drama School from where I will be receiving my MFA in Acting.

People always look at my funny when I tell them I'm getting a degree in acting. Some of the common responses I get....."Yeah, but what do you really want to do with your life? Like what kind of real job do you want?" or my other favorite: "Oh how cute. We have a little actress on our hands. School must be so hard for you. Do you get tired from all the acting you do all day?" But, every once in awhile you come across a person who really respects what you do and how much of an honor it is to be at my school.

I love what I do. And yes, I am scared to death that I will not have enough money to eat, but I know that one day everything is going to be alright and that I will succeed. And success doesn't mean that I am a famous actor on Broadway or in Hollywood. But it does mean that I am happy with what I am doing, whether it is as a yoga instructor/actor/painter/mother/wife/clown/peace keeper/hippie/love maker.

I hope that whoever reads this gets an understanding of what I do and that I know the path ahead of me is a hard one, but I am willing to take it.

Peace and Love!